Friday, July 23, 2010

Idiot Sightings


Stolen shamelessly and verbatim from a comment on ZeroHedge :

IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not. Four is larger than two." We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi-rural area We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore." From Kingman, KS.
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Ala. IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stop-light on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving? She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I attended a "good-bye" luncheon for an old and dear co-worker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that "deer-in-the-headlights" stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS.
I love this one!: When I left Hawaii and was transferred to FL, I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii . I was parking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said "Yep. I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge." He nodded his head and said "Cool!" STAY ALERT! They walk among us. and they VOTE. and they REPRODUCE.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

A in law, F in composition

There's just something wrong about that sentence structure. Lawyers, despite all urban myths to contrary, write very well.

in reference to:

"We take pride in our clients' successes, and the confidence and trust they place in us."
- HARTBELL,LLC Attorneys at Law - Vincennes, Indiana (view on Google Sidewiki)

Friday, July 9, 2010

This does bode well

This county is on the Northeastern side of Florida, on the Atlantic. Reports from the gulf are that as the oil spreads, the sea life that live in the deep come nearer to shore. I wonder if this is just a first sign of problems on the Atlantic side.

in reference to:

"Sea wasps are usually found in deeper water, so staying close to shore is the best way to prevent being stung."
- RSOE EDIS - Biological Hazard in USA on 10.07.2010. EDIS CODE: BH-20100710-26899-USA (view on Google Sidewiki)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The odds are eventually going to be stacked against you

I drive over 100,000 miles a year, some of them for work, others for pure enjoyment because I simply like to MOVE.

I tell my friends that eventually the odds are going to be stacked against me and eventually I'm going to have a wreck. They claim I'm full of shit and that I have the minor wrecks I've had simply because I'm careless. I always knew they were the ones full of shit.

I'm going to have to point them to this article.

in reference to:

"Accidents are most correlated to the number of miles driven. To put it in in actuarial terms, miles driven is an exposure variable, and is multiplicative, while negligence is a class variable, and additive."
- .CSV » new developments in AI (view on Google Sidewiki)

Prove

I must write the big red "PROVE" along the margin. This could be the result of risk compensation--people feel they can take more risks because they're more secure-- or it could be the result of successful social engineering by seat belt laws.

in reference to:

"We could not simply look at people who already wear seatbelts and those who do not, because the people who naturally wear seatbelts are more likely to be naturally cautious drivers."
- .CSV » new developments in AI (view on Google Sidewiki)

Friday, June 11, 2010

Life amongst the clueless

Even a cursory read of England's historic behavior with its neighbors would answer this question.

in reference to:

"As the World Cup kicks off, many football fans from the UK's celtic nations say they will support ABE - Anyone But England. Why does this inflame so much passion on both sides?"
- BBC News - What's behind Anyone But England? (view on Google Sidewiki)

Friday, June 4, 2010

Three hots and a cot

I think it's very bizarre that mental health professionals would want to withhold treatment from some one who asks for it, but would want to shove treatment down the throat of some one who doesn't want it. It's such a Catch-22.

In the US, malingering, or whatever the DSM now calls it, is a recognized mental illness. Therefore, psychiatry can bill for it. However, this guy seems to be after three hots and a cot. If he violates his ASBO, I guess he'll get his way.

in reference to: BBC News - Man 'banned' from using the NHS (view on Google Sidewiki)